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Kids Online Safety

How to talk about being safe online

Talking to your child about being safe online can protect them, build trust and know how to get help.


But knowing how to start these conversations can feel like a challenge. Here you can find tips to help you feel more confident.

On this page  

Why you should talk about being
safe online

Setting up parental controls is a useful way to protect children from viewing or downloading harmful content but it cannot completely protect them. 

Talking to your child about being safe online can help build trust and lets your child know what to do if they are worried or if something happens that makes them feel unsafe.

Start small 

Starting a conversation with your child about being safe online doesn’t have to be long and complicated. You can start small, for example, asking your child about their day or about their interests.  

You could ask them: “what devices did you use at school today?” or “can you show me some of the things you enjoy doing online?”.

You can use this as a building block, to begin talking about how the things they do may link to online safety.

You could start the next part of the conversation with: 

  • “Have you seen anything online that has worried/upset/confused you?”
  • “You might have heard about [recent news event]. I’d like to talk to you about it.”
  • “It’s been a while since we talked about being online. I want to talk to you about something important.”
  • “How do you feel about using your [phone/tablet/game platform]?”

These conversations can be difficult at first and may require practice. If it doesn’t work the first time, you can try again on a different day. 

Talk about limits 

Talking about the parental controls you use at home can be a good place to start your conversations with your child. 

For example, you can explain that the parental controls mean they can do the things they enjoy, like playing games, but without seeing something that might upset them.  

You can start talking about limits by saying:

  • “I want you to enjoy your time [using website/app/game], so it’s important to me to know that you’re safe.”
  • “You might have seen that you can’t use [website/app/game]. This is so you can use your [phone or tablet] without seeing something that could upset or frighten you.” 
  • “I understand that you are unhappy that you can’t use [website/app/game]. What was it that you liked about it? Let’s try and find something else that is a better fit for you.”

Parental controls

When thinking about parental controls it is good to remember that:

  • you can relax or remove some restrictions when the time feels right (this can give your child a goal to work towards that suits their age and helps them feel included in the decision)  
  • the restrictions you use for your child may be different to that of their friends or siblings   
  • as your child gets older, they are more likely to question or try to get around the restrictions you use 

Things to remember  

Some things you should remember when you talk to your child:     

  • consider your own online behavior when talking to your child about theirs
  • that being online is important to your child and is part of their daily life 
  • encouraging ‘no screens’ during certain times of the day, (such as putting phones away at mealtimes) this can also encourage  conversations without distractions

Negative experiences online 

If your child tells you they have viewed, or experienced something negative online, ask them how they feel about it, and let them know it’s okay to be honest without worrying about getting in trouble. 

You could ask them:

  • “I’ve noticed you seem different today. Has something upset you?”
  • “Can you tell me more about what happened?” 
  • “How do you feel about it?”
  • “It’s okay to feel that way” 
  • “What do you want to happen next?”
  • “Thank you for telling me about this. I’m glad we can talk about it.”

If your child tells you about something that puts them in danger, you should act quickly to resolve it or report it. During this time you should keep talking to your child to let them know they are supported.

Next steps

These conversations are not always straightforward, particularly in the early stages, and may need practice.  

These links can help with conversation starters for you and your child. 

NSPCC guides:  

‘Talking to your child about online safety’  and 
‘How to talk to children about difficult topics’ 
  
Barnardo’s offers support on how to ’start conversations for parents of 10- to 12-year-olds’. 

Find the right questions to talk with your child about toxic online content

Learn how to ask the right questions to help your child think critically about what they see online and get practical tips for starting open, supportive conversations.

Speak to an expert

Get support on the different topics of online safety or use a helpline to speak to an expert.

Know where to report something

If something happens online that upsets your child or puts them in danger, know where you can report it.

 

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